The Onion Unofficial Thread [Archive] - EvoXForums.com - Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X Forums

Rosshole

08-23-2007, 01:24 PM

If anyone isn't familiar with The Onion, it is a satirical newpaper that started in Madison.

Here is my favorite article from this week!

No One In Women's Shelter Able To Cook Decent Meal

CLEVELAND—Despite having no other household responsibilities to occupy their time, none of the residents of the Cleveland YWCA Battered Women's Shelter can prepare a decent hot meal by 6 p.m., sources at the shelter reported Tuesday.

"If it's not burned or under-seasoned, it's the same goddamn thing they made yesterday," said group counselor Devon Martin, who doesn't work all day long in the shelter's therapy sessions to microwave his own leftovers. "Without mastering this important life skill, these women will never be able to leave the shelter. It's not like they got anywhere else to go, anyway."

Although records show the shelter houses more than 100 battered women, there is some speculation that this number may be exaggerated, as hardly any of the laundry bags left in the hallway get taken care of.


EvoXForums.com - Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X Forums > Community > Off topic > The Onion Unofficial Thread PDA : The Onion Unofficial Thread Rosshole 08-23-2007, 01:24 PM If anyone isn't familiar with The Onion, it is a satirical newpaper that started in Madison. Here is my favorite article from this week! No One In Women's Shelter Able To Cook Decent Meal CLEVELAND—Despite having no other household responsibilities to occupy their time, none of the residents of the Cleveland YWCA Battered Women's Shelter can prepare a decent hot meal by 6 p.m., sources at the shelter reported Tuesday. "If it's not burned or under-seasoned, it's the same goddamn thing they made yesterday," said group counselor Devon Martin, who doesn't work all day long in the shelter's therapy sessions to microwave his own leftovers. "Without mastering this important life skill, these women will never be able to leave the shelter. It's not like they got anywhere else to go, anyway." Although records show the shelter houses more than 100 battered women, there is some speculation that this number may be exaggerated, as hardly any of the laundry bags left in the hallway get taken care of. Rosshole 08-23-2007, 01:26 PM The Onion (http://www.theonion.com/) SATimko 08-23-2007, 02:04 PM Hahaha, love their stuff. Rosshole 08-23-2007, 02:28 PM They have free copies laying at almost every business by me... it's great! SATimko 08-23-2007, 02:42 PM That's awesome. Not a lot of people around here have heard of it. They look at me funny when I mention it. iLisa 08-23-2007, 03:16 PM they have free paper boxes here in DC.. the Onion is great! :)