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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
THE FIRST RULE OF EVOXFORUMS IS: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT EVOXFORUMS

THE SECOND RULE OF EVOXFORUMS IS: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT EVOXFORUMS


Okay but seriously, since there has been a decent influx of new members, which is always a good thing because it means more people are interested in buying these lovely cars and gaining knowledge along with it, I am going to make this thread. Also, there has been a great increase in members attempting to troll. I say attempting because you retards don't realize the true art behind it. It's not just posting a cat meme on every goddamn thread and peacing out. It takes skill. I digress.

Forum FAQS:

http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=41

Member Intro thread:

http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12&highlight=New+member

What's a Turbo?

http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63867


Let's begin. I suggest reading this entire thing if you are new. I will try to keep it somewhat entertaining and not so boring. Unfortunately the majority of you new *******s probably won't read through this. I pray for your buttholes.

Section 1:
The most common questions teh n00bs ask when they come in here.

Always search before making a new thread about something. As unique as you think your question may be, always just take a look first. The search function on here can kind of suck, so I like to use Google. Just go to Google, type in "site:evoxforums.com *your question here*", and search. Might find what you're looking for. Here's some frequent n00b threads:

The BIGGEST thing we get is

What mods should I do first?/What's a good route to take?

Hollywood_X (forum god, respect his authority) made an awesome thread about this. (Read here: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33220). Modding isn't a one size fits all deal obviously, but this is a great general guideline to follow. Routine maintenance is vastly underestimated and needs to be taken note of more often.

Edit: Another great Hollywood thread includes choosing shops and vendors to work with and what to expect. http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=60029

The general bolt-ons route is probably the most common and the most efficient if your car is just a daily driver or street queen. Catback exhaust, intercooler pipes, intercooler, intake, test pipe/high flow cat, downpipe, etc. The order isn't all that important, the fact that you should get a tune with all these things is.

Which brings me to my next frequent thread n00bs make:

Do I need a tune with this modification?

Now our cars are tuning whores. (Hence why they are called TUNER cars) When you modify anything it is always a good idea to get a tune (with the exception of maybe a drop-in filter). It is STRONGLY SUGGESTED by everyone that you get a tune once you modify something, and get a re-tune when you change something big up.

Now, I'm not saying if you slap an exhaust and intercooler on your car without a tune it will blow up. I am saying that it is always best to tune your car with the mods because that is the SAFEST way to do it and the best way to get all you can out of your mod. I personally like the idea of buying all your bolt-ons (like, holding onto each one until you get all of them) then installing all together and tuning right away. This way you don't put your car in jeopardy but you also don't have to keep getting your tune re-done.

There are tons of tuners throughout our community. Tons of threads to go along with them. You can very easily find a very reputable tuner in your area to take care of your car. DO NOT go to a tuner just because he's the cheapest/closest. Tuning is probably the BIGGEST part of our cars. Fuck up the tune and your car goes boom.

There is also e-tuners. Quite a few good ones on here actually. They can tune your car through the interwebz. Just need a tactrix cable and EcuFlash software (free). chetrickerman, BakaUnchi, Clipse3GT, Beeble, and Golden are just a FEW of the good ones on here. More coming and going all the time. Email a few, find a guy you like and get to tuning!

Also, this thread applies here as well, so I'm posting it again:
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=60029

One of my favorites:

Should I get the MR or the GSR?

This question has been asked more times than Pamela Anderson has taken the D. Use the search function and find one of the four-hundred threads we have on it and read until your eyes bleed. If you can't find any, PM me and I'll send you a bunch of links along with a spamming of cat memes because you might not have a pulse.

Great info on the MR tranny HERE: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63249

Another beaten to death one:

Sti or Evo?

Again this question is like herpes. It just keeps coming back. The fact is, you're on an Evo forum. We all love these cars to death. A ton of the members actually made the switch from an Sti over to an Evo. The general consensus is that the Evo is more reliable, cheaper to modify, and better performing. At least that's what I've read in the six-thousand threads about this subject on here. Again, search for them. And again, if you can't, PM me. Cat memes. Tons of them.

THIS IS A BIG ONE:

Which exhaust/intake should I get?

Now this is a legitimate question. As for exhausts, there are singles and duals. Singles are good for weight savings, if you like the look, and a tiny tiny tiny bit more power. Duals are good for the sound, if you like the look, and if you don't want a giant visible muffler. There are tons of legitimate companies that make good exhausts. ETS, AMS, Tomei, Magnaflow, Cobb, Buschur, Borla, etc. That isn't even close to half of them. There are tons. You can find them littered throughout this forum and on YouTube. Listen to a few, find out which style you like, and go for it. Take the sound you get off a video on YouTube with a grain of salt though, because they aren't always that accurate. At the end of the day, 99% of them do the same thing.

Another Hollywood thread; Exhaust legality by state: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58503

Intakes are the same way. Different styles and brands. Figure out if you want a Cold-Air or Short-Ram intake. There's a difference, and that difference can be learned by googling the question. I'd post a link, but I'm not sure if I am allowed to post outside links in a thread. Find one you think suits you, and go for it. AEM, AMS, ETS, etc. all make good ones. There are tons of brands.

What should I do to my Lancer?

Okay a lottttttt of the guys on here are in love with the fact that they own an Evo, and will almost immediately hate the idea of you upgrading your Lancer. They will repeatedly tell you to just buy an Evo and don't waste your time on the "econobox" Lancer. Just don't respond to these people if you are looking for answers. They are a lost cause. But please, do not just try to make your car look like an Evo by slapping a dopey bodykit on and calling it a day. Actually do stuff that's worth the time and money. There are a ton of threads on here again with this question. Find them, sift through the bullshit and you will probably find an answer. If not, PM me. Again, cat memes, but I'll answer your questions too.

Will this void my warranty?

Alright. This is a biggie. Technically, a dealership/manufacturer CANNOT void your warranty if the issue with your vehicle is not directly related to a modification you have done. So, if you install a catback exhaust and 5000 miles your passenger seats spontaneously explodes, you are covered under warranty. HOWEVER, if you install a giant cold-air intake with no shield or cover, and then 1000 miles later your engine hydrolocks, you are up shit creek, paddling with a pink glittery dildo. If you are extremely concerned with your warranty, it is best to just stay stock. The dealership will most likely try to weasel out of covering your warranty by finding the most bullshit excuses to begin with, so modifying can become tricky. More information can be found littered throughout this forum and Google. Some dealerships are cooler than others. Some will actually install parts for you, others will tell you to fuck off if you have a blow-off valve.

The 100% guilt-free, worry-free modification you can do to your car is a K&N drop-in filter. K&N has made all of their drop-in filters warranty-safe. So if you want 3 more horsepower and don't want to fuck with legislation, grab one.

Section 2:
The dreaded 50 and 100 post points

The 50: This is one of those rules so many of you hate. It is not set there just to annoy you (although how awesome would that be). It actually serves a legitimate purpose so that we don't get spammed and so scammers have to work a little harder to fuck with us. For those of you legitimate members, use the first 50 posts as an excuse to read up and gain as much knowledge as you can. That way you can have a vaster level of intelligence once your training wheels come off.

The 100: WraithX proposed this because too many n00bs were wetting themselves. He installed a 100-post-clause. You get 100 posts to be semi-retarded. A lot of us may still be dicks to you when you are under 100 posts but some may actuall listen. Just read through this thread and those like it and you will be okay out in the wild. Wraith's thread can be read here: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=69450
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 · (Edited)
Section 3:
What to expect when you're expecting

Now many of the guys on here are very cool dudes. But if/when you ask a question that is completely asinine or repetitive, they may give you a little flak for it. Don't take it seriously; it's just because we don't get laid a lot.

DO NOT GET BUTTHURT.
This is an internet forum; if we all just talked about cars all day and were completely serious, I'd probably eat a shoe. Guys are going to troll and rib one another from time to time. It's how we deal with how little sex we get. Understand it is a joke and no one genuinely dislikes you... yet.

Good example of how to respond to such a situation: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=69501

Also, crucial read: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64397

Section 4:
Some big forum members to look out for

Paulekas -- Mystical creature. RWD Evo owner. Excellent and strongly suggested read: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30996

Kooldino -- Creator of all this shit. Owner of Speed Circuit (spectacular shop). Respect the authority and make sure to tell him how good his girlfriend was in bed last night.

Demi -- Pretty intelligent, loves to troll and call people out on their stupidity, mostly just angry his build sucks. Also very sexy. Always remember, Demi's gonna Demi.

WraithX -- Intelligence is rare. Likes to run over curbs a lot, especially in other peoples' cars. Make fun of him and you will almost instantly be accepted here.

Me (Chaz17) -- http://i.imgur.com/MZtbg.gif

Hollywood_X -- Great and all powerful. Basically the Evo X Guru. I know, his dick is in the back of my throat right now, but he's one of the smartest guys on here.

Eyler_Evo_X -- Forum Grammar Nazi and Evo X Elitist. Whenever you see him in a thread, b sur3 tew typ3 lyk3 d1s. He's an English teacher. Also, he hates all of you fuckers who try to mod your Lancer.

joey -- He's a mod. But he's like that gym teacher that catches you toking in the boys bathroom and instead of taking you to the principal, takes a hit.

chetrickerman -- Awesome e-tuner, anorexic Evo owner. Knowledgeable. I think he's a mod actually. Also quite sexy.

kidneythief13 -- Girl. "What? Oh my god!"... I know. Girl. Very cool and kind mod.

BakaUnchi -- Ultimate E-tuner.

Golden -- E-tuner and tuning-hacker. Extremely intelligible, also donates a lot of tuning assistance to this forum.

Tephra -- Gearhead afficianado. People often ask "are you THE tephra?". Yes. He is.

HappyMint -- Shagadelic. Big fan of VD. Genuine gearhead/tuner.

Robevo -- Awesome rally driver. Expert on all things rally/race. Very cool Hungarian.

Ttsumibishi -- Victim del WraithX. Headlight aficionado. NEEVO presidente.

Fishtix -- Some Azn guy with sexiest Evo ever.

LVSBB6 -- MADE IN JAPAN.

Frankiago -- Kia driver.

Hotstix -- Tugboat driver.

Hotdog -- Dead.

Bradze -- Owns a Subaru. Basically dead.

Mazzab -- Dead. http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=32352&d=1342643477

Section 5: What is rice?

joey and Fishtix.

No but seriously, rice is just shit that people do to their cars that they THINK looks/sounds cool and may give the illusion that is performance-based, but is really just utterly annoying and retarded. Thousands of examples, along with funny comments, can be found here: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23250

Basically, your neon lights, AutoZone wing, obnoxious fartcan exhaust, oversized subwoofers, crappy tint, and idiotic stickers. If you want to rice out your car, go right ahead. It is your ride and you may do with it as you please. You reserve the right to do what you want but remember we reserve the right to point at you and call you a fucking idiot.

Section 6: Trolling

In the past month or so, the trolling has skyrocketed. WraithX put it nicely. "Trolling is precision sniping. These idiots are just jumping in with a .12 gauge". If you are going to troll, make sure it is a troll-worthy thread. How can you tell? Well if the thread starts with a question of which you cannot even fathom the level of stupidity, you found yourself a winner. The ultimate thread and perfect example can be found here: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30996

If you are getting legitimately trolled, it is best to realize you probably asked a pretty jackass question and now you're going to get flamed a bit for it. Don't fight it, it's going to happen whether you like it or not. Just hop on in and strap down for the ride, as it can be fun.

Another Hollywood thread: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11987

Section 7:Our Vendors

We have many vendors on here. They're here to hook us up with all the shit we like to put on our cars for awesome deals. You'd be crazy not to support them. Almost all of them are awesome to deal with and really do hook us up nicely. Keep the love in the Evo community strong.

Section 8: The Forum Rules

Don't be an *******. Read this thread: http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1797

Section 9: Cat Memes.

Post as many as often as you can.

___________________________________________________________

That's pretty much all I got. I'll edit and update this shit as I come up with more stuff. Until then,

 

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Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
Important & Helpful Links -- Thanks to 1stEVO. (Tolerable N00b)
If you can't find the right link in this post Mr. Arizona, you don't belong near a car.

Venders; this is advice on choosing one, working with one, and dealing
with issues.
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=60029

Next we have "Things X owners should know" a must read for all X owners
to
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33641

This link is all the abbreviations dealing with our cars. If you see one
that isn't on here, add it!
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=24235

Mods are a big part of this community, and its where a lot of....badly
worded questions come from.
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33220
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=68347 *

Wheels! This is a really well put together thread. Has pictures and lots
of great info!
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2464

Here is a link to Codes, Service Reset Info and some other good info
www.roadraceengineering.com/evox/tech/evox-mil-dtccodes.htm

A list of recalls for our X.
http://forums.evolutionm.net/evo-x-general/401700-evolution-x-tsb-recall
-information.html *

Wheels, Suspension, Brakes below is links *
Springs and coilovers:
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=24155

Wheel Spacer:
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10085
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10191

Alignment Specs:
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13915 *

Wheel Fitment, includes the brand, size, tire size, and more!
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2465 *

Dino's Wheel Thread, has some good options, take a look!
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9424 *

Winter Tires:
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8114

What clutch would hold the power
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=47999&highlight=Hollyw
oodX *

Hollywood's collection of various useful items, an album of pictures,
will come in handy at some point.
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/album.php?albumid=165 *

MAF Calibrations, from Hollywood X.
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53879 *

SST (Sportronic Shift Transmission) how it works, Problems; Tech write
up
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63249 *

Clutch & Master Cylinder upgrade recommendations
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53697 *

All of Hollywood X builds, has great info and reviews on parts, and what
did and didn't work.
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54914 *

Exhaust Laws for your State
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58503 *

Official POWER thread- Who makes what with what and does it last!
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4783 *

Tuning books; Knowledge is power
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20590 *

Instructional Video about Evo X
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=24552 *

TROLLS
http://www.evoxforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11987
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 · (Edited)
Amendment 1: Powdercoating Vs. Painting

Powdercoating supposedly does weaken the wheel a bit because of the baking process, but it is EXTREMELY rare for it to actually lead to the wheel failing (unless the rims you have are crap). If you have a set of decent rims and you aren't going to be tracking the absolute shit out of your car, you have nothing to worry about.

Volks, Enkeis, and even mid-level rims like Rotas should be fine. As long as the rims have no defects and the powdercoater does a good job, you have nothing to worry about. TONS of people on here alone have PC'd rims and never had an issue. It is EXTREMELY rare to get a failure because of it.

Pros of PCing: Awesome looking and pretty durable if done correctly. Protects well against break dust as well.

Cons of PCing: Expensive in comparison. If you scratch or curb a rim, you have to take it off the car, dismount the tire, get it re-PC'd ($$$) and then have the tire put back on.


Pros of painting: Cheap. Can look great if you do it correctly. Easy to fix and correct if you scratch or curb a rim.

Cons of painting: Can come out crappy if you don't know what you're doing.

Some argue it isn't as durable as PC'ing but I believe if you use a good amount of coats and clear coat when painting it is plenty durable.



Great quotes:

You didn't get bashed for your question, you got bashed for your unbelievable mods. They are so laughable people think your are trolling. I figure people coming to a forum for 30-50k would be less caviler about their mods. You like it? Fucking do whatever you like. But don't expect to wear a tutu to highschool gym class and not get picked on. This is a great forum and you shouldn't judge it poorly because we jumped your shit over poor decisions. You should know its the best because we don't let stupid shit go unquestioned. When you're about to do something really dumb that can hurt the longevity of your car, you will be glad we don't have an "anything you like is great" attitude.
I dont think that we rape people that ask simple questions. The worst they get is "search". Usually followed by an answer anyway. We do descend on ricers/posers like dingos at a maturity ward. Now before fools start tripping about the use of "ricers" and or "posers". I dont mean ricers like how Joey is a ricer, like the REAL bad ones. ;) (you know heart you) Dude had underglow for fucksake. That dude and the dude with with diesel Lancer asking how to make it look like an Evo. I mean fuck. How are we supposed to not jump on that shit? Its the forum equivalent of poking people in the eye with a stick. A sharp stick....while suggesting that our mothers are women of ill fame. Yeah, thats about right.
I'll tell you what to do. You slam your right foot down. You slam it down harder than you've ever slammed anything ever before. Slam it harder than Warren Sapp slams white girls. Put that pedal into the floor and don't let it back up. Keep going until your foot is into the floorboard. Until you've started to puncture through the base of the car. Until you see the road running beneath you.

At this point, instinct would tell you to stop. Don't. Stomp down into the asphalt like you're motherfucking Fred Flinstone in Bedrock motherfucking City. Stomp through the tarmac until your to bare ground. Through the dirt and rock. Keep going. Stomp through the possibly undiscovered fossils and bedrock. Through the different levels and periods of time. Stomp. Harder. Until you are sitting in the center of the Earth. And Satan sneers before you. He smiles his gruesome, bloody smile at your sweating, determined face.

And then, pull out your fiddle. Challenge him to a fiddle battle. If you win, you get an Evo made of gold. If he wins, he gets your soul. Battle him like you are the King Leonidas and he is Xerxes. Fiddle your dick off. FIDDLE MAN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. FIDDLE. When you've finally beaten him, and you're more out of breath than Pam Anderson in that car that one time with some drummer and a video camera, return to your now golden Evo.

At this point you'll want to counter-steer. A lot of people believe to feather it back and forth and find the correct spot. DO NOT DO THIS. Full-bore opposite steer. DEW IT NAOW. Rip that fucking fake fucking cheap fucking Mitsubishi leather clean off that wheel. Hold it there until your car begins to lift off the ground and climb into the sky. It may not make sense, but it will lift off the ground eventually. Trust me. Climb higher into the sky. Keep going. Your Evo is airtight so you needn't worry about losing oxygen.

Travel out into the atmosphere, past the little dipper and big dipper, past each planet, including Pluto. And yes, Pluto is a fucking planet. You can't have backsies on a fucking planet you *******. Even if it is a fucking puny ball of ice. Pluto is a fucking planet so fuck off. I digress.

Travel out of our universe and into a galaxy far, far away. Past the Starship Enterprise. Past the Deathstar. Past that curb Matt hit once with Daves car. Keep going. Until you come across a small troll-like man named Paulekas. He will tell you the secret moves of which you ask. And he will return you to the land of trolls. Where sarcastica is the native language and everyone has a Wraithface on. Only then, will you know. You are here. You have made it to... The EvoXForums. Welcome. And may the almighty ones have mercy on your soul.
My head just exploded.
WraithX said:
Dude, your paint not getting damaged is like finding a unicorn.
 

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GJ Chaz. I'm glad you have no life cause I didn't really have time to do something this big and I think you saved 1stEVO some time too. You should link the exhaust video clip thread under the exhaust section too.

P.S. Trolling section - You put 'not' instead of 'now'. Fix it boy!
 

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Pretty neat writeup...only it takes all the fun in watching newbies figure out the environment of evox all on their own. Hopefully they will still retain their knack for not reading any FAQ's or rules or intro threads and just go straight to making their first post in the FS thread about RWD evo conversions and VTA bov's.
 

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One of my favorite parts of being an Evo X Elitist is gone, though, since Pounder got banned. Pissing him off was the best.

Also, I'm a Grammar Fascist, I don't discriminate like Nazis did.



GJ Chaz. I'm glad you have no life cause I didn't really have time to do something this big and I think you saved 1stEVO some time too. You should link the exhaust video clip thread under the exhaust section too.

P.S. Trolling section - You put 'not' instead of 'now'. Fix it boy!
Grammar Fascist.
 

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Yeah, you quoted yourself under "great quotes". Yup. I shall say no more.

By the way, your links don't work.
 

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GJ Chaz. I'm glad you have no life cause I didn't really have time to do something this big and I think you saved 1stEVO some time too. You should link the exhaust video clip thread under the exhaust section too.

P.S. Trolling section - You put 'not' instead of 'now'. Fix it boy!

He screwed up his favorite section!? Neva that!
Ya he did save me a bunch of time haha Plus now he is going to get all the dumb PMs and questions not me. :thumbup:
 

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Lol pounder got banned? How did I miss this! /DERAIL

It was the "Introducing E-Tuners" announcement thread. He was a dick to Dino, then spouted on about not having a Ralliart anymore and how he didn't care about all sorts of forum related stuff, acted like a dick some more, then Dino banned him. It's about damn time, too. For someone who always liked to say they defended/respected others' opinions he sure did a lot of neither. Honestly, aside from Lancer GTS owners asking what all they needed to do to make their car an Evo he was the only non-Evo member that I couldn't stand. The rest are just fun to troll.
 

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