Strange review, from a MILF! (I can only assume based on her driving preferences)
By: Courtney Messenbaugh
Sharks are badass, and so is the 2008 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution. Both are designed (by nature and by some engineers stuck in a lab someplace in Japan, respectively) to be aerodynamic, fast and predatory. While sharks are currently the only ones getting their own week on the Discovery Channel, I think Mitsubishi should start lobbying to get similar treatment for the Lancer Evo. Just get those shark-obsessed Discovery Channel honchos to drive the Evo around a track once or twice and it could happen.
The Evo is designed to look and perform like a shark. OK, Mitsubishi’s official line on that is actually that the Evo’s ”grille, bumper and lower air intake are inspired by jet fighter air intakes for a shark-nosed effect.” For sure.
Driving this car was the most fun I’ve had in a long time, and it turned me into a speed demon with a possible future in professional racecar driving. Of course, I went to Arizona’s Firebird Racetrack to drive the Evo for a few hours as a person without much interest in car racing. Me? Drive around a racetrack at 100 mph in a car I’ve never touched before? I’m pretty sure I was sweating profusely, and it wasn’t even warm that day. Not pretty.
Thankfully, my professional driver/coach/mentor, Spencer, put me at ease by giving me constant tips and not making too much fun of my newbie skills. I got the hang of things after my first couple of laps, and I think even old Spencer might have been thinking I could have a future in professional driving. He didn’t exactly say that, but I intuited what he was thinking. Did I mention I had a helmet on? I’m such a rock star.
Even better, the smile on my face didn’t disappear once I got off the track because the more I learned about this car, the more I was convinced that it could be a perfectly acceptable mom-mobile. Trust me, it’s got everything you need (speed, speed and more speed) and more (good old regular features like car seat Latches). There’s even a comprehensive standard safety package that includes seven airbags (good for the whole family), an automatic climate control system (nice touch), dual visor vanity mirrors (to make sure our hair is still in place after zooming down the street) and a tire pressure monitoring system.
The goods don’t stop there. There’s a great stereo system that you can totally pimp out by upgrading to the Rockford Fosgate woofer package, plus a large glove box and a decent-sized trunk for a car this size. The cupholders are reputedly game enough to hold a 20-ounce bottle, and the center console has a special little tray to hold your cell phone and other important go-to items. Are you with me? This car is good.
One of my favorite things about the Evo was the Super-All Wheel Control. Basically, this system goes beyond your regular old all-wheel-drive system to make things feel even sturdier. Those of us who live in areas that get snowy, icy and rainy know that poor road conditions can make it seem like each of your wheels is going in a different direction. Not so with S-AWC. It had been raining a bit when I drove the Evo, and I never felt like the car or its tires were out of my control. Oh, and did I mention that I was going REALLY fast? And that I may have a future in professional racecar driving? It’s true.
Dan Kuhnert, vice president for marketing and sales for Mitsubishi North America, says the Evo’s “high-performance engine, sports-car handling dynamics and striking design … will appeal to enthusiasts worldwide — for those who desire a daily driver with street credentials as well as those planning weekend track action.” What he’s trying to say is that moms everywhere can drive the shark-like Evo to the grocery store and to pick up their children from school, but in between those things can go out on a track and tear it up. That’s where you’ll find me.